A PHOBIA

by Baz Cann

Some people have a phobia 'bout creepy crawly things And break into a cold sweat, with the terror that it brings They can't abide those insects, that do nobody harm And blindly panic whenever one settles on their arm



Some hate arachnoid presences, when soaking in the bath, And try to hide their panic behind a nervous laugh Or squeal with fear as one comes near until it drowns itself Then flick it with a well aimed brush high up onto a shelf.
Others afraid of mice and rats invariably include cats Who stalk all day all manner of anything that flaps They'll hiss and spit and growl at these in ferociousness they say But come along a small mouse, and it's just please go away !
Snakes are another good source for terror to inflict There's those that live in horror, and those who have it licked Around her place at half eight, you cuddle with your girl, While round your feet a python then silently does curl.
O.K.! she says, let's bungee jump, so off to town you go, It's fine until you're at the top - the wind begins to blow. The platform sways from left to right, and back and forth as well, Congratulations, you've just found another living hell !
Another girlfriend on the cards - well that'll be just right One with a quiet demeanour, to cuddle with at night And when you ask me what I do, 'cause I'm a total lamer, I smile and announce quietly "Why I'm a Lion Tamer"