* I do physical labour
* I work at great depths
* I plunge head first into everything I do
* I do not get weekends off or public holidays
* I work in a damp environment
* I don't get paid overtime
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
* I work in high temperatures
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis,
* You do not work 8 hours straight
* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team
* You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit
other areas
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in
order to start working
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
* You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing
the correct protective clothing
* You're unable to work double shifts
* You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have
completed
the day's work
* You have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace
carrying 2 suspicious looking bags
