The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

1.    Good :  Your wife is pregnant.
         Bad :  It's triplets.
        Ugly :   You had a vasectomy five years ago.


2.    Good:  Your wife's not talking to you.
         Bad:  She wants a divorce.
        Ugly:  She's a lawyer.


3.   Good:  Your son is finally maturing.
         Bad:  He's involved with the woman next door.
        Ugly:  So are you.


4.   Good:  Your son studies a lot in his room.
         Bad:  You find several porn movies hidden there.
        Ugly:  Your wife is in them.


5.    Good:  Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
         Bad:  You can't find your birth control pills.
        Ugly:  Your daughter borrowed them.


6.    Good:  Your husband understands fashion.
         Bad:  He's a cross-dresser.
        Ugly:  He looks better than you.


7.    Good:  You give the "birds and bees" talk to your ten-year-old daughter.
         Bad:  She keeps interrupting...
        Ugly:  With corrections.


8.    Good:  The postman is early.
         Bad:  He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.
        Ugly:  You gave him nothing for Christmas.


9.    Good:  Your son is dating someone new.
         Bad:  It's another man.
        Ugly:  He's your best friend.


10.   Good:  Your daughter got a new job.
         Bad:  As a hooker.
        Ugly:  Your co-workers are her clients.
Way ugly:  She makes more money than you do.


Gil Knutson