It began one night in Manchester, a baby boy was born to a Miss Beryl
Jones (I was adopted by the Hyde Family), anyway, Beryl gave birth to what can
only be explained by the words “Oh My god, why me doctor”, they took one look
at me and instead of smacking my bum they smacked my real mums face
!THWACK!!.
Was this person hailed to be the antichrist?, no,
was he hailed be the second Adolf Hitler?, no, was he suspected of starting
the great fire of London?, hmmm, we`ll have to think about that one
For this unfortunate misfit of life Dr Jekyll was
actually born as a result of a genetic experiment that went terribly wrong
between a 60`s hippy and a Michael Parkinson look-alike compo winner
Needless to say, the scientist who lead and performed
the experiment has now been sent to Coventry
(he has literally)
Mr Beryl Jones was at home on the 26th
January 1951, when she felt a strange sensation in her stomach, it all started
with a violent shudder from her womb, then a hot flush came upon her, vomiting
soon followed, then it eased off a little, then all hell broke loose (BRRRRRRRR)
was the noise all neighbours for ten streets around her heard, was this the
time that her unborn child was about to set food into our world at?, no, it
was that bloody egg-fried rice and three 25 and two 16 that she got last night
from the crappy Chinese takeaway run but two dwarf sisters, one sister had
one of her boobs that was a 34c and the other boob was a 65ff, hence her name
of Won Hung Lo
The other sister was called sosaw, but that`s another
story
Eventually at about 22.30 which in new money is about
30 mins past 22, little Steven Jones was hatched into an unsuspecting world,
the pod opened and there he was, hoofs a shining, claws a glowing and a big
red zit on his chin, god, what a sight for sore eyes, or was it sosaw…
Anyway, the following morning mum wanted to pay the
doctors and nurses for all their kind help in delivering her beautiful (hmmm)
baby thingy, but they wouldn`t hear of it, they ordered her to leave this
place, and to never darken their doorstep again, plus, the top surgeon begged
mum not to mention which hospital had given her sanctitude, just in case they were closed down
It was only last month that the name of the hospital
was finally given out, of course the hospital closed some years ago, but it`s
name was St Pricklehurst, so, the kind doctors and
nurses nicknamed the little baby Steven after the hospital, so for many years
Steve`s nickname was St Prickle, but during later
years, hearing of the terrible misfortune and stigma that the hospital tried
to hide, St Prickle was finally shortened again to “Prick”, and folks, that
name still bounces around people lips to this very day.
What a loving gesture….
