Well in the last issue of the "Tales from the Buffet" We read some amusing (But True) stories of the Inverness to Wick line. However Inverness Depot had many trains that provided Catering, and Stewards (In particular New Stewards) were moved around to ensure they were fully trained in all aspects of the Train Catering Operation. The favourite Training ground was :-
The Clansman was the only Full Restaurant car departing from Inverness. Leaving at 10 30am and boasting a full catering Crew of:-
Chief Steward
4-5 Stewards (Depending on the time of Year)
Cook
Assistant Cook (Depending on the Time of Year)
Arriving in the Station at the Booking on time of 09.30am. The Stores had to be checked ..Transported to the Restaurant car, Stored aboard, Tables set (Linen & Cutlery) all in time for the 10.30 departure.
As soon as the Wheels started turning, The Buffet car section was opened for Snacks & Light refreshments, A corridor service of Coffee & Sandwiches/Biscuits was offered and the Restaurant car was opened for a service of Morning Coffee.
In the Duration of the Trip from Inverness to London (Euston) The corridor service was offered several times the Buffet remained open until 30 minutes prior to our arrival, and the Busy restaurant car served :-
Morning Coffee
2 sittings (52 per sitting) of Lunch
Afternoon Tea
2 sittings of Dinner
The Crew of the Clansman stayed overnight in London and the Return trip was made the next day :-
09.30 Departure:-
1 sitting of Breakfast
Morning Coffee
2 sittings of Lunch
Afternoon Tea
1 Sitting of High Tea.
Arriving back in Inverness at 20.30pm ...A good 2 days of frantic work.
Now by far the busiest time for the Catering crew was the Final sitting of Dinner on the South Bound Journey. We hit Birmingham at 18.00 hours and picked up a lot of Business Passengers (all requiring Dinner) on the way back to London.
The main problem was down to the volume of Traffic at London Euston, The Station Crew tried to clear the Platforms as Quickly as Possible, Therefore if the Catering Crew were held up (For whatever reason) They ended up lost in some obscure "Kilburn" sidings ...So the final 30 minutes of the journey were frantic.
Normally everything went to plan, However there was one regular Customer (Never did know his name) who was an absolute Nightmare. He was a business man but played the old Railway trick. Passengers buying a Second Class rail Ticket are allowed to use the First Class Restaurant car ...So many business people save a little expenses by buying a second class ticket but travelling the Journey on the Restaurant car ...This gentleman was one of them ...And he ensured that he stretched out his meal, So he was JUST finished upon arrival.
He was actually notorious among Catering Crews, He would sit by himself at a table ,Slowly sipping his Soup while in between Spoonfuls reading either his Newspaper or various documents. God help the Steward that tried to remove his plate, Should there still be a spoonful of soup therein.
He was actually a nasty spiteful character who verbally abused the Catering staff and treated us like personal servants, The problem was he was a great tipper ...Regardless of his complaining, prior to leaving the Train he would slip the Chief Steward a £5 tip.
On one particular trip I was on Board, Old Moaning face was there as normal, Thankfully he had demolished his Soup and Main Course, But was taking ages with his Sweet Dish.
We had served everyone else ...Cleaned up ... Completed our Stocksheets, Changed out of our catering Uniforms, and he was still sitting there with his dammed Newspaper and a full bowl of Apple Pie and Cream.
The train Guard had already announced "5 minutes to London Euston" Still he didn't move ...Fearing a trip to the Sidings, The Chief Steward told ME to go and ask him to vacate the Restaurant car. An order I really complained bitterly about, But I was the Newest Steward on Board, Therefore expendable to the rest of the Crew, If that guy Chews your head off ...No Problemo ...We can manage without you ...Now Go and do what your told.
Well .. We were pulling into Euston by now ...So fearfully and expecting a load of Verbal Abuse ..I approached the Guy and gently placed my hand on his shoulder and leant forward to talk to him.
Imagine my surprise when he fell forward and landed face down in his Apple Pie and Cream.
Dead as a Dodo ... Slipped away quietly between his main course and his Sweet.
Massive Heart attack ... Died instantly we were told later.
Now not only did we have to remain onboard until interviewed by the Police, We had to wait for the Body to be removed, Try to explain how someone can die in front of you and you still continue to serve him food ...Yup ...We ended up in the Sidings ...Then the Railway Police office ...Not getting to our Hotel until the early hours of the Morning.
As if that wasn't bad enough ... The Chief Steward informed us (a) The guy hadn't left a tip .. (b) He hadn't even paid for his meal, But the Chief had already put it through his books (Which were now in the hands of the Police, and couldn't be changed) So the cost of his Final Meal had to come out of OUR Tips.
I'm not sure if he went to Heaven or Hell ..But I'm sure he enjoyed the Irony of his parting.
Now train catering Staff work according to a Two Week roster, So normally you could plan your Home life. However each week you would have a shift Known as "Depot".
Simply this shift involved arriving in your home Station "Prior" to the Departure of the First catering Vehicle (06.10am) and visiting each service until till the last departure at 12.30pm.
Should any of the Catering Crew fail to turn up for their designated shift, You took that shift for the day.
Normally this was not to bad, But every Monday/Wednesday and Friday you had the notorious CLANSMAN to cover.
Try to imagine your shift reads Fri-Depot ...Sat-Off ...Brilliant, But should someone fail to turn up for the Clansman ...You were off to London for Two days ..Returning home completely Knackered and having to face your irate Wife, Wanting to know why you stood her up for Auntie Jeans Birthday Party.
There was one occasion that sticks in my mind, I was rostered to the Clansman Friday/Saturday ...But another Crewman called in Sick. The unfortunate Depot Steward had to fill in, His first time on board the Clansman ...Big Jim was non to happy.
Now when we arrived in London, We stayed overnight in a Hotel just up from Euston (Sound good doesn't it). Sadly the Railway had a Knack of finding "Doss Houses" that were Hotels in name only, Often not fit for Human habitation.
The Tales and stories on these overnight Hotels were horrendous (And mostly true) ..For example.
Regular Stewards only had Coffee & Toast for breakfast (preferring to eat onboard the Train) ...No wonder ..I did try the Breakfast once in the Hotel .. It had been plated and under the Heat lamps for at least a Week. Now I'm not adverse to having my Bacon slightly Crispy, But this stuff was lethal, Try sticking your fork into it and a Spray to Bacon Shrapnel shot out from your plate. The Fried eggs looked Wonderful .... Nice and White, with a Golden Yellow Yolk ...Sadly they had the Texture of a ceramic tile and not even the Sharpest of Knives would penetrate the hard skin.
Regular Stewards went straight to their designated room and Felt the Bed sheet ...If it was slightly warm ..You knew why ..The Sleeping car crews stayed in the same hotel ..And the warmth meant some guy had just crawled out of the Sheets you were crawling into.
Perhaps the worst thing about these "Hotels" was that they were infested with Cockroaches ....BIG COCKROACHES.
We soon got to know that you Put your shoes and clothes as high as possible (away from the Floor) ..Anyone who has put on their shoes in the morning and heard that ominous crunching sound will know what i mean. In fact you always put your shoes on the Bedside Cabinet, So should you need the Toilet during the Night, The first thing you put on was your shoes ...Crunch ...Crunch.
The annoying thing about Cockroaches is you have difficulty finding the Little Buggers during he Day ...At night a different story ..The floor is suddenly a heaving mass of them.
OK ...Back to Big Jim ...A large lad of some 14 stones, But a guy that hated any sort of Insect ... Jim had been wound up all day about these "Roaches" and the fact he was unhappy at being Shanghaied over the weekend, His mood in not improve on the way South.
AS soon as we arrived at our Hotel Jim shot up to check-out his room ...It didn't take him long to spot a Cockroach hiding behind the Curtains.
Now despite his dread of Insects big Jim was determined he would sort out this problem, So bravely he trapped the Roach in and Empty Matchbox and after calling the rest of the Crew ...Headed for the Reception Desk.
Big Jims banging on the desk attracted "Tony" The Chinese Nightporter.
I Want to speak to the Manager ..Screamed Big Jim.
No here ...No here ... replied TonyWell WHO'S in charge ...Demanded Jim
Tony scuttled through the back and returned with "Ben" the Under manager ...A massive African Gentleman that made Big Jim look like a dwarf.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU ...Boomed Ben.
Jim said ...Look at THIS ...And opened his Matchbox ..The Cockroach scurried out of it Prison and legged it across the desk top.
HOI!...... Screamed Ben ...Picking up a heavy Desk ledger and crunching it down on top of the poor Cockroach.
You can't bring THAT in Here ...Said Ben ...Pointing to a notice that Proudly stated
As Ben and Tony disappeared behind the Reception area, Big Jim's face was Beetroot red his Mouth moved but the Words wouldn't come, Small specks of spit sprang from his silent lips.
He was a very quiet Steward on our return trip :)
