Well regular readers will know that my early days as a catering Steward covered the Inverness-Wick, and Inverness-London routes. However Ian was an ambitious sort of chap, and wanted the coveted blue uniform of a "Chief Steward".
Now in every Catering Depot, there is one line, that is hated by the Stewards, This line is the normal starting point for people climbing the ladder, Inverness depot was no different, The Inverness-Aberdeen Route was detested by the Stewards and on a regular basis ..they advertised for Chief Stewards.
So what was so wrong with this particular route ...The short answer was - Everything.
The line between Inverness and Aberdeen was covered by the Dreaded "DMU" ..For those not up to scratch with their railways, The DMU was short for Diesel Multiple Units. A set of 3 coaches with a drivers cab at both ends.
For the Railway operation ..The DMU was quite good, Having a cab at both ends meant no need for Shunting or Turning the Train, Also as several Units could be attached together, This meant that the Set could easily be expanded or contracted to suit the Passenger flow. Or in simple terms - 1 unit at Quiet times (3 coaches) and 3 units combined at peak travel (9 coaches) ...Great ...But not for the Catering Staff.
The main problem was that each DMU had a small Buffet car in the centre coach ..Great if only one unit was running, But when the started adding/Subtracting units ...You had a living nightmare.
Add to this ...The DMU units were of considerable age and prone to breaking down, Not a major headache for the Rail Staff as a unit was easily replaced ...A major headache for the Catering Staff, as at any given time the Unit you were on could suddenly be detached and taken to the Sidings :(
Another problem with this line was, You made 2 trips per day to Aberdeen and back, Meaning you never retained the Same unit the following day, So all your stock of food & drink had to be loaded in the Morning and unloaded at night (Providing you got back).
On many occasions you arrived in the Morning, Only to find you had been allocated a Unit that had been out of service for months, Meaning the Buffet car was filthy, and had to be scrubbed down before you could start serving food or drink. Having brought the Vehicle up to scratch (hygiene fashion) you arrived in Aberdeen only to find that the unit had developed a fault and was being replaced :(
However despite all the Problems and pitfalls of the Inverness- Aberdeen line ...I ended up as Chief Steward, and actually quite enjoyed my time on this Route.
Several incidents stick in my mind ... One almost costing me my Job.
After a short time working on any Railway Route, You become acquainted with the Local Travellers. The Inverness-Aberdeen line had more than its share of regulars ...Mostly Fishermen returning home or Oilrig workers going or returning to their Two weeks on - Two weeks off -Shift pattern.
One regular Customer "Jeff " was a cook on board of a Trawler based at Aberdeen. "Jeff" was a nice chap, But had the Worst Stutter I have ever heard.
Ccccccccccccccccc .....Ccccccc ....Could I Hhhhhhhh...Hhhhh ...God asking for a simple cup of Tea could take up to 5 Minutes.
After several Months "Jeff" seemed to be more relaxed in my company and his stutter became slightly less. Now I have no wish to deride anyone with a speech problem, But "Jeff's" Stutter always seemed to be worse when he was going to Aberdeen, Perhaps the Stress of life on board a Fishing boat was the Cause, However one day when he was returning home, And talking almost normally, "Jeff" told me "When I start to Stutter ...Give me a Quick Slap on the Cheek ....The Shock breaks my thoughts and my stammer will stop.
I'll try anything once! ..So the next time I saw Jeff, "Cccccccccccccccc ...SLAP! ...Can I have a cup of tea? It works :)
After that "Jeff" and I got on like a house on fire.
It was several months after this, That the Problem arose. Although Train Catering staff mostly work under their own Steam, The Railways do appoint "Catering Managers" to ensure Quality & Hygiene on board.
Our Main Manager for Scotland was Mr Graham (Based in Glasgow) On boarding a Train the Manager would check the Vehicle for cleanliness check the Steward (Uniform etc.) Could your Stock, Ensuring you were not selling Contraband goods etc..etc..
One morning I was busily washing down the Shelves ..Prior to departure when a voice said "Good Morning Mr Fyvie"
Mr Graham ....Only the second time we had met, Obviously I was slightly nervous when I discovered Mr Graham was travelling all the Way to Aberdeen, However after the Initial Surprise and having had a mild rebuke for a dirty shirt Cuff, Things seemed to settle down. Mr Graham was standing enjoying a Cup of BR Coffee when the Train arrived at Keith Station.
"Jeff" boarded the Train ..And as normal headed straight to the Buffet Car.
Cccccccccccccc-SLAP- Can I have a cup of tea ..Ian?
I Froze! ...Mr Graham was standing there ...Smoke coming out of his ears ...His moustache and eyebrows bristled and his piercing stare cut right through me.
PANIC ....
"Jeff" ...This is my BOSS Mr Graham ...I said trying to recover the Situation ...Tell him about the SLAP ..I said hopefully.
"Jeff" looked Mr Graham straight in the Eye and said "He's always hitting me"
Now working on Train Catering ...You can get away with a lot, But Violence towards the Customer is a definite NO NO ..
Luckily after a frantic 10 minutes of explaining, and eventually getting "Jeff" to understand the Seriousness of the Situation, Mr Graham accepted that the "Slap" was gentle assistance and not My Violent Nature.
In later Years ...Myself and Mr Graham would often share a joke about this Incident ...But at that particular time, all I wanted was a clean pair of underpants :)
The second Incident was all down to these Dammed DMU's. I was awaiting departure from Aberdeen on my last trip, The busiest of the Week concidering it was a Friday. I already knew that I would be rushed off my feet, Having seen a lot of Rig Workers and Fishermen on the Station Concourse.
Just befor i boarded the Train, I got a A Board and hastily scrawked on it in Chalk:-
BUFFET CAR AVAILABLE -CENTRE OF THE TRAIN
I was inbehind the Counter prior to departure, Having a final stock up when I felt the Train start to pick up speed. Quickly I dropped the Serving hatch Shutters ..Expecting a vast crowd of Riggers and Fishermen demanding Drinks ...NOTHING!
In fact there was only around 10 people in the Whole three coaches I could serve. Quickly sticking my head out of the Window, Confirned my worst fears. The Railway had detached the Front Unit and added another at the Rear ...Meaning the Buffet Car was now on the Front Unit ...Of course everyone followed the Directions on the A Board.
"MORE PANIC"
OK ...Ian had the solution ...I quickly got several Cardboard boxes ...Filled them with as much booze & Sandwiches that i Could, and when we stopped at the first Station (Inverurie). I detrained ..Quickly ran up the Platform and jumped aboard the Middle DMU.
Unfortunatly the Riggers & Fishermen ..Had asked the Guard, "Where is The Buffet" ...Front 3 coaches, So while I was climbing abouard the Middle three ...They ran past me and on to the Centre coaches.
Disaster.
Having so far taken in only a few Pounds on this Trip ..It was a rather despondant Ian that returned to his original DMU at the next Station.
Of course I had locked up the Buffet car before detraining, But on my arrival back ..The Shutters had been Burst open and a large portion of the Stock was missing :(
This was terrible ...As I was responsible for any stock shortages ..I would have to pay for ALL the Missing Stock from my own pocket.
Rather disheatned I started to count up the Missing Items ...."Well over £40 worth"
Suddenly a guy appeared at the Counter ....I recognised his face, a rigger who travelled from Inverness.
HERE!.... he said shoving a plactic cup full of notes into my hand ..The boys left this for you.
In that plastic cup was just over £60 ...At least £15 more than the Stock that was taken.
Yes! they might have been Rough and Ready Men ..But they were no Thieves ...Certainly the Salt of the Earth :)
