Idiots at Large



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IDIOTS IN SERVICE:

This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the Telstra repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).



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IDIOTS AT WORK:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.





IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Koala Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many Koala's were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore.





IDIOT SIGHTING #1

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."





IDIOT SIGHTING #2

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"





IDIOT SIGHTING #3

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often". Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that cow-in-the-headlights stare.


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IDIOT SIGHTING #4

I work with an individual who plugged her power board back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.





IDIOT SIGHTING #5

When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."





Submitted by Dennis Robb


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