Little Jamie came into the kitchen where his mother was dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. 'Mum, I want a bike for my birthday.'
Little Jamie was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home on many occasions.
Jamie's mum asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Jamie, of course thought he did.
Jamie's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Jamie to reflect on his behaviour over the last year. 'Go to your room, Jamie, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.'
Little Jamie stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Dear God:
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Jamie
Jamie knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
Dear God:
This is your friend, Jamie. I have been a pretty good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend,
Jamie
Jamie knew that this wasn't true, either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.
Dear God:
I have been an 'OK' boy this year. I still would really like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank You,
Jamie
Jamie knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Jamie wrote another letter.
God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.
Please!
Thank you,
Jamie
Jamie knew, even if it was true, that this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now, he was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mum that he wanted to go to church.
Jamie's mother thought her plan had worked as Jamie looked very sad.
'Just be home in time for dinner,' Jamie's mother told him.
Jamie walked down the street to the church on the corner. He went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Jamie bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary.
He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Jamie began to write his letter to God.
God,
I'VE GOT YOUR MAW. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN,
SEND THE FECKIN BIKE.
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO
