On the Phone

Submitted by - Carol McGinn

Some people do not "Engage Brain" Before lifting the Telephone. Here are a few good examples of actual calls received.

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Samsung Electronics: (To female caller)

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".




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RAC Motoring Services:

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"

Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?




Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):

"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"




Directory Enquiries:

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please".

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".


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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven?. Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland".




Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please."

Operator: "Where are you calling from?"

Caller: "The front room."




On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".




Computer Capers:

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".

Customer: "OK"

.

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".


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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?".

Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"




Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?"




RailTrack Enquiries:

Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?"

Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free".




Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"

Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre."

Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours"

.


The Bank:

Caller: "I would like to borrow £2,000 please".

Operator: "Certainly, sir. Over how long?"

Caller: "Three years, please".

Operator: "OK, sir. That will be £75 per month for 36 months. Is that OK?"

Caller: "No, not at all. I want it all at once!"



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