Comprehending Engineers

Comprehending Engineers - Take One
**********************************
To the optimist, the glass is half full.  
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
**********************************
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
********************************
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
**********************************
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.   Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.  The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
**********************************
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. 

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
********************************
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion & mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the workshop and get some work done."

Comprehending Engineers - Take Seven
*********************************
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,  smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.   The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"  The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog ......that's cool."

By Ian Urie