BREAKING NEWS - Ferrari sack pit crew. Modena, Italy:



The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire Pit Crew yesterday.


This announcement followed Ferrari's Decision to take advantage of the British Government's "Work For the Dole" scheme and hire unemployed Scottish youths.


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The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how Scottish youths were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds using a shifter, a 4lb club hammer, a crow bar and a baseball bat, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high-tech gear.

This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by Ferrari Management. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team.

However Ferrari got more than they bargained for as, during the Scottish crew's first practice session, not only were the new pit crew able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, rebadged, and had sold the vehicle over to the McLaren Team for four dozen cans of Tennents Super Lager, a carton of Embassy Red cigarettes and a quick glimpse of Coulthard's bird in the shower.



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Submitted by - Carol McGinn


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