Tales from the BUFFET
Tales from the BUFFET
Having settled nicely into life as the catering storeman, I had developed my own system of working, and things were ticking over well .. Or so I thought.
One morning Mr. Pollock arrived in the store and slammed a large cardboard box down on the Counter. I could tell my his expression he was not pleased.
"IAN ..What the hell is this" he said pointing to the box on the counter.
I looked in the box, Which had been delivered earlier that morning from the local Fish supplier, Looking at Bills expression I decided that replying "FISH" would not be the best idea.
Mr. Pollock lifted one of the Haddock and held it up in front of my face. It resembled a badly filleted Sardine.
"You of all people should know that we get 3 fillets to the Pound, We can't serve this shite to our Customers! ... Why did you accept it?"
My defence that the Fish was delivered directly to the Cafeteria, and I only signed the delivery slip was insufficient to quell his wrath.
"YOU Sign the Bloody thing ..Your responsible ..Take this box back to the Fishmonger and tell him if this is the best he can do, We'll get our orders from somewhere else in future"
Mr. Pollock stormed off, Leaving me well and truly Verbally "ass kicked."
I felt really angry as I put on my Jacket and carrying the 12lbs of fish headed for the Fishmongers.
In the shop I asked to speak to the Manager. We don't have a manager the "Serving Wench" replied. The Owner is in the office.
I was lead into this small office where I met the Shop Owner, But I still felt angry that Mr. Pollock had been unjust in his criticism of me and this Guy was going to get a piece of my mind.
After slating the condition of the Fish that had been delivered that Morning, I threatened to take my order to another shop.
The shop owner face went quite pale at this, After all the Railway order was quite a large portion of his daily business, and he certainly didn't want to lose the contract.
Apologies were made and assurances given that the fish would be replaced, It calmed me down a little, But as a parting gesture I told him that in future all deliveries would be to me, and they would be checked, Prior to acceptance, Any further problems and I would get a fresh supplier.
I dread to think what was said in the shop after i had left, But true to his word, around 15 minutes after I had returned to the store, The fishmongers Delivery boy arrived and nervously placed the box of fish on the counter.
I checked the fish and this time they looked beautiful, Rich, plump pieces of Haddock. I signed the delivery slip and handed it back to the frightened delivery boy.
After stuffing the slip in his pocket, he bent down and placed a carrier bag on the Store counter "My boss says give this to you" then he fled like a scalded cat out of the store and peddled his bike down the road.
Slightly puzzled and wary I opened the bag, and the Package it contained. 4 Lovely Salmon steaks lay within. I checked the delivery note again ...Yup the Haddock was there but no mention of Salmon. Then it struck me ...A BRIBE.
Most of the morning I puzzled over what to do about this, Eventually deciding that honesty was the best policy, So picking up the steaks I headed for Bill Pollocks office.
After explaining to Mr. Pollock about the events of the Morning Visit and the unexpected present, He smiled and said "You must have scare the Crap out of him".
I asked what I should do with the Salmon, "Well ..If I was you I'd phone the wife and tell her to put the sausages back in the fridge, and have the salmon for your tea tonight"
I offered to share the fish with Mr. Pollock, an offer nicely refused, and providing an item was not recorded on the delivery notes, He said he didn't care what happened to them.
However before I left his office, He did remind me that although I placed and received the Orders, Never to forget other people sold them. (Or in other words, don't get to greedy and keep others in mind)
I dined well that night.
Over the space of the next week or so, Visits were made to the Butchers and the Grocers where we ordered veg. and Steak/Sausages etc. On each occasion the shops were privately owned and after my visits, A "Present" was delivered at least once a week.
I have to admit, at first I felt rather guilty about this, But quickly dispelled any regrets by accepting that this was part and parcel of being a storeman.
Of course most Items going through the stores didn't come from small owner shopkeepers, but rather from multinational companies.
I still dealt with the Sales reps and placed the relevant orders.
A month or so on from the Fish shop problem, a Whisky sales rep arrived at the store.
Now I have to admit, I wasn't keen on this guy, He was a rather gloomy person and the Brand that he represented was not one of the better sellers.
So I told him I didn't need an order this month as I had just received a large delivery of whisky that morning.
The Sales Rep leaned forward and in a low voice said "We have a special offer on. Order 3 cases of anything and we will give you a free bottle for yourself"I looked at the salesman and asked "Will the bottle come with the delivery and will it be on the documents?"
"NO ...You place your order now and I'll go and get the bottle from my car".
I quickly scribbled out an order for 6 cases, and the rep disappeared to get me 2 bottles of Whisky.
The rest of my afternoon was taken up by trying to work out how to shift 6 cases of this unpopular brand.
Fortunately I was working in the Bar part time and was on duty that very evening.
However the head barmaid was a very honest person, and not even a drop of lemonade was taken by her without money going into the till.
The station bar was open until 10 pm in these days, and the Head Barmaids husband always appeared and helped us tidy up...And then ran us home.
After the bar had closed, I spoke to the Barmaid and her husband, and suggested that we put more of this certain brand on optic, And when Customers asked for a Whisky we served this brand. The barmaid was unsure, but the present of a bottle to her husband, and the promise of a regular supply (which was all above board) swayed her thinking.
Well between the Bar and the Orders from the Restaurant cars, It didn't take long to shift the 6 cases.
The next time a Whisky Rep appeared looking for an Order, he was refused, I would explain one of his competitors had a special deal on and I was ordering from them.
Legalised begging? ...Perhaps ..But it worked. Most reps realised that crossing the palm with liquid would secure them an order, And myself and the Barmaid had a fruitful relationship.
By now it was coming to very near the end of the year. Mr. Pollock dragged me into his office and reminded me that the "Staff" Christmas party would be held in a month or so. He clearly expected the Companies that supplied us throughout the Year to Give generously.
So The Ferret embarked on a mission to get goods for the Christmas party.
No one was safe ...Reps/Owner/Manager were left in no doubt that IF they wanted they retain their contracts for next year, They should enter into the Christmas Spirit.
The goods flowed in. Turkey/Smoked Salmon/Veg. and even a couple of cases of Champagne along with the Beer and Spirits I collected.
The day of the Christmas party, I was rather embarrassed when Bill Pollock asked the Staff to "Put their hands together" and thank The Storeman for all his efforts.
There was so much food and drink available that not only did everyone eat and drink their fill, But sufficient was left to ensure everyone went home with a carrier bag of goodies.
