Jack and Jill

Jack was to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a fireside chat.  "Jack," he says, "Let me tell you something.  On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my trousers, handed them to your mother and said ' Here Darling, try these on'.  So she did, and said 'Well sweetie, they're a little too big, I can't wear them' So I replied "Exactly - I wear the trousers in this family, and I always will'.

Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm,"  says Jack, and thinks it's a good thing to try.

So, on his honeymoon Jack takes off his trousers and says to Jill, "Here Baby, try these on".  So she does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit me".

Jack then says, "Exactly. I wear the trousers in this relationship, I always will, and I don't want you to forget that".

At this, Jill takes off her knickers, hands them to Jack and says,  " Here, you try on mine".

So he tries and says, "I can't even get into your knickers".

Jill says, "Exactly. and if you don't change your bloody attitude, you never will!"