The Domino Column


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I'm in the Doghouse again.  Not my fault,  It's you humans that are unpredictable.

Well you know that we have been having good weather lately, So good in fact that during the day it was warm enough to lie out in the Garden.

Now for some reason "Old Grumbleguts" has decided to do quite a bit of reconstruction in the little plot.  So this day I was lying on the warm lawn keeping my little eye on him.

He emerged from the garden shed with his tools and started digging.  Nothing unusual in that ... He often digs these little hole and tries to hide bushes and flowers in them  (What's the point ...He only moans if I pee on them).


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However this day was different, He Dug and Dug and Dug, Eventually he was so far down, only half of his body was visible!

"What on earth is he doing" I wondered.  Then it struck me!

The silly old codger had buried his bone in the garden and now he couldn't find it.  Well I'm a nice Dog, so I thought I'll give him a hand .. Well we all know that us doggies smell better than you Humans.

So I wandered down to where his hole was, Planted my back legs and started digging furiously with my front Paws.

Was he happy .... Nope!     Was he Grateful ....Nope!

He gave out this scream ...and started clambering out of his hole with a mean look on his face.

NOW    I'm a brave doggie, But a demented Human, covered in Mud, Frothing at the mouth and waving a stainless steel spade in my direction, is a bit to much.


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Best beat a hasty retreat   I thought ...In the back door, Through the Kitchen ...Across the Hall ...Up the Stairs ...into a Bedroom and under a Bed.

Phew! .. Safe  he'll never find me here.

Suddenly, For no reason Mrs. Grumbleguts decides to get in to the action.

"I'll Kill that bloody Dog, Look at the state of my carpets!"


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Suddenly she was upstairs, lying on the floor and prodding at me with a broom handle  ( I didn't know Humans were so good at tracking).

Two hours I stayed under that bed, Eventually I decided to forgive them and wandered into the living room, I let them ruffle my ears and rub my belly  (That always seems to calm them down when they get stressed).

Anyway a couple of days later, This bloody great hole is still there.  However Grumbleguts fixed up the garden hose and started filling it with water!

Well! ...It was 12.30  (Half an hour late with my walk)  so I though to my self ... I'll help him fill the hole with water,  That way, I relieve myself, and he doesn't need to take me out.  (Sound good to me ... I'm a helpful doggie)

SHRIEK ... Another demented Scream ... Another chasing  (With the Rake this time).


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Shouting something about "PissinPond" and "killing Fish" ...Don't know I didn't hang about, I was back under the Bed.


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Well from now on, They can keep their garden ... That's the last time I'll try helping them ...Huh!


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