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The CRYPT Mag


Dietary and Healthy Lifestyle Wisdom!!

Submitted by - Carol McGinn

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Q,  I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?

A:  Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise.  Everything wears out eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;  that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.  Want to live longer?  Take a nap.



Q:  Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables

A:  You must grasp logistical efficiencies.  What does a cow eat?  Hay and corn.  And what are these?  Vegetables.   So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?   Eat chicken.  Beef is also a good source of field grass.  (green leafy vegetable).  And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

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Q:  How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A:  Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.



Q:  What are some of the advantages of participating a regular exercise program?

A:  Can't think of a single one, sorry.  My philosophy is:  No Pain...Good.



Q:  Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A:  You're not listening.  Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.  In fact, they're permeated in it.  How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?



Q:  What's the secret to healthy eating?

A:  Thicker gravy.



Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A:  Definitely not!  When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.  You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.



Q:  Is eating chocolate bad for me?

A:  Are you crazy?  HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!  It's the best feel good food around!

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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and lifestyle.

Now go and have a biscuit...flour is a veggie!

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One final thought:

If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

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