Submitted by - Roger Buckely


TEACHER:  Why are you late?
WEBSTER:  Because of the sign.
TEACHER:  What sign?
WEBSTER:  The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


TEACHER:  Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY:  You told me to do it without using tables!


TEACHER:  John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN:  "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
JOHN:  Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it.

TEACHER:  What is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
SARAH:  Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America
GEORGE:  Here it is!
TEACHER:  Correct.  Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS:  George!


TEACHER:  Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

TEACHER:  Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY:  Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

SILVIA:  Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER:  I think so.  What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA:  Your name on this report card.


TEACHER:  Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN:  I is...
TEACHER:  No, Ellen.  Always say, "I am."
ELLEN:  All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Teacher:  "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE
Johnny :  "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."

Teacher:  "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.   Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny :  "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

Teacher:  Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam :  No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Teacher:  Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Desmond:  No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Teacher:  What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil :  A teacher


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