These are all genuine quotes from Gordon Strachan:

Submitted by - Ian Urie


Reporter:  Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?
Strachan:  I don't care,  I'm Scottish.

Reporter:  "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan:  "Velocity"  [walks off]

Reporter:  Welcome to Southampton Football Club.  Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No.  I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said,  "No,  I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

Reporter:  Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter:  Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan:  We're not doing bad.  What do you expect us to be like?  We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe.  I don't know where you expect me to get to.  Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

Reporter:  Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan:  You're spot on!  You can read me like a book.

Reporter:  Gordon,  Agustin Delgado?
Strachan:  I've got more important things to think about.  I've got a yoghurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today.  That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter:  This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan:  You're right.  It is a daft question.  I'm not even going to bother answering that one.  It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter:  Bang, there goes your unbeaten run.  Can you take it?
Strachan: No,  I'm just going to crumble like a wreck.  I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge.  Umm,  I think I can take it,  yeah.

Reporter:  There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan:  Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here.  I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

Reporter:  where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan:  Not telling you!  It's a secret.

Reporter:  You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan:  I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter:  So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan:  What areas?  Mainly that big green one out there...

Reporter:  So.  Gordon.  Any plans for Europe?
Strachan:  Me and the wife were thinking Spain in August

RIYAN Productions