A Medical Mediocrity
By Baz Cann
Something just aint right with my plumbing,
So off down to the doctors I go,
And following a brief look and thinking,
A request to take things a bit slow !
"Tha's blood pressure be a bit high lad !
But not that alarmingly so",
"It's best we get a second opinion,
So off to hospital you'll go !"
"Just dotting the 'I's, and crossing the 'T's
Is all that they're going to do."
And now I've experienced every part,
The next time I hope Doc, it's you !
The prodding and poking was not very nice,
You tend to run out of street class,
When it comes to examination in full,
It can be a right pain in the ass !
We have to take a scan, at least that's the plan,
To try and find what's going wrong,
All clear sounds again, and I'm in for real pain,
At the hands of the Surgical throng !
Tha shouldn't be haemoragin' like that,
So in with a camera we'll go,
To inspect the bladder, and respective parts,
The problem is surely to show.
I'm a fairly brave fellow, but have to admit,
That I did not enjoy that one bit,
And if I get told "This might just hurt a tad",
That person, I will most gladly hit !
This story is true, and I'm all black and blue,
Below the waist, I'm twice the size,
Just get rid of the colours, and the pain as well,
And give my lass a pleasant surprise !