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The CRYPT Mag

The Domino Column


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You know you humans are a funny lot!  You build these little brick boxes and live in them.  Most of you adopt other animals ... Doggies,  Kitties,  Birdies and take them to live in your little brick shelters.

Have you ever thought about the problems this gives us animals?  I mean take the house I stay in ... It has stairs!  No bad thing for you two legged Bipeds, but to a Dalmatian ...trouble.

Tell you what ...if you have a house with stairs you can try an experiment for me.  Go up to the top landing, crouch down on all fours, THEN try going downstairs.

YUP! ... Problems.  Us four legged animals arn't designed for going down your stupid stairs,  What you find is that you Bum starts to overtake your face.  So too compensate, your front legs must go faster and faster ... result?  You reach the bottom of the stairs at highspeed and go face first into the nearest wall,  not a pleasant experience,  I can tell you.

Then there is your other favourite pastime,  laying laminated flooring,  or even shiney tiles.  My feet arn't designed for walking on slippery surfaces, my poor leggies go in different directions ...result .. Domino bangs the crown jewels on the floor ... Painful to say the least.

Now some of you more thoughtful people install Cat Flaps ... Very handy if your a buddy Cat.  But do you have Dog flaps ...Nope,  WHY .. I have to pee as much as any kitty.  CHRIST you even supply litter trays for bluddy pussies.  Me I have to hold everything in until your ready to take me out ... Have you tried holding it in for hours at a time ... can you "Poo" to order ... I think not!

Dog is mans best friend ... AYE RIGHT.  You shackle us up with collar and lead then drag us all over the place.  Kitties different story they wander as they please.

If there is re-incarnation I wat to come back as a bluddy pussie .... Unless there is a soddin great Dalmatian in the next house ...

Mm ... never though of that.




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That feathered freak on the bottom of my page doesn't say much .. Does he?

 

 


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