The CRYPT Mag |
There will be no nursing home in my future ... here's the deal:
When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is £100 per day. I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of £65 per day from Princess. That leaves £35 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be £5 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat me like a customer, not a patient. An extra £5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help me.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for my inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and I don't even have to ask for them.
9. If I fall in the nursing home and break a hip I am on Medicare. If I fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade me to a suite for the rest of my life.
10. Now hold on for the best! I will be able to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name anywhere I want to go. Princess will have a ship ready to go.
So ... don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship!
P.S. And don't forget, when I die, they'll just dump me over the side at no charge.
© RIYAN Productions |