|The CRYPT Mag|
I've got a sign for you!
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind - I didn't see your sign"
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a Wridgeways truck in our driveway. My neighbour comes over and says,"Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign!"
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a mate of mine, we pulled his boat onto the ramp, I lifted up this big whiting and this idiot on the ramp goes, "Hey, you catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit, and there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... they want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it".
Last time I had a flat tyre, I pulled my car into a gas station. The attendant walks out, looks at my car, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tyre go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "****e, that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive a semi-trailer in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning. OK. No problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked "So. Is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."
If you go to Pizza Hut, I walk in with my girlfriend and the person will ask "Table for 2" ...... "No, I'd like a table that would fit 8 people, just for the 2 of us". Here's your sign!
I went to see a new car on Saturday, I paid a deposit and then returned yesterday with the rest of the money to pick it up. While I was waiting for the owner to get home his wife asked "Did you get home alright the other day?" if it hadn't been for her large dog and the fact she'd made me a cup of tea while I was waiting I'd have said "no, I was involved in a terrible pile-up and died tragically. Here's your sign".
"Y'know that Joan of Ark......how did he get inside the whale?"
Anybody you know need a sign today? Show this to all your friends! The next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is...
|© RIYAN Productions|