Paul Woodward
Should remove easily Will be corroded into place. Clamp with adjustable wrench and beat repeatedly with a hammer
. This is a snug fit You will skin your knuckles! Clamp with adjustable wrench and beat repeatedly with a hammer.
. This is a right fit Not a hope in hell. Clamp with adjustable wrench and beat repeatedly with a hammer.
. As described in Chapter 2 Thatll teach you to read through before you start. Now youre looking at scary pictures of the inside of the engine
.. Pry Hammer screwdriver into
. Ease Apply superhuman strength to
. Retain tiny spring What the hell was that, it nearly had my eye out
. Press and rotate to remove bulb Okay, thats the glass bit off, now use pliers to dig metal part out
. Lightly Start lightly and build up until the veins on your forehead start throbbing.
. If not, you can fabricate a special tool like this:
. Compress squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it and swear at it.
. Inspect Squint at really hard while you pretend to know what youre looking at
. Carefully You are about to cut yourself.
. Retaining nut That big spherical blob of rust
. Get an assistant Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone else.
. Refit in reverse sequence to removal You just swear in different places.
. Prise away from locating pegs snap off plastic locating pegs
. Use a suitable drift or punch The biggest nail in your toolbox
. Index List of all the things in the book except with thing you want to do.
. Hacksaw A cutting tool based on the Ouija board principle. Transforms human energy into crooked unpredictable motion, the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
. Mechanics knife Used to slice open cardboard boxes delivered to your door. Particularly useful for boxes containing saddles and motorcycle jackets.
. Battery electrolyte tester handy tool for transferring sulphuric acid from battery to jeans.
. Mole grips used to round off bolt heads. Also useful for transferring welding heat to the palm of your hand.
. Philips screwdriver used to stab oil filters for removal and round off Philips screw heads.
. Bolt and stud extractor tool that snaps off in bolt hold and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
. Hammer divining rod used to locate expensive parts near the object you were trying to hit
. One spanner rating Your mum could do this, so how come you cocked it up?
. Two spanner rating easy until you discover that the map of the Tokyo underground you were looking at is a wiring diagram
. Three spanner rating Make sure you wont need bike for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes home start
. Four spanner rating - Are you seriously considering doing this?
. Five spanner rating Dont expect to ride it again and dont mention it to the insurance company
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