Why Dogs Are Better Than Women

 

Dogs donít cry.

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs donít care if you use their shampoo.

Dogs think you sing great.

A dogís time in the bathroom is confined to
a quick drink.

Dogs donít expect you to call when you are
running late.

The later you are, the more excited dogs are
to see you.

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other
dogs.

Dogs donít notice if you call them by another
dogís name.

Dogs are excited by rough play.

Dogs donít mind if you give their offspring away.

Dogs understand that flatulence is funny.

Dogs love red meat.

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

Anyone can get a good looking dog.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs donít hate it.

Dogs donít shop.

Dogs like it when you leave a lot of things
on the floor.

A dogís disposition stays the same all month
long.

Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

A dogís parents never visit.

Dogs love long car trips.

Dogs understand that instincts are better than
asking for directions.

Dogs understand that all animals smaller than
dogs were made to be hunted.

When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you
incessantly, you can shoot it.

Dogs like beer.

Dogs donít hate their bodies.

No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the
Blowfish album.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching
adulthood.

Dogs never criticize.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice
to get your point across.

Dogs never expect gifts.

Itís legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

Dogs donít worry about germs.

Dogs donít want to know about every other dog
you ever had.

Dogs like to do their snooping outside as
opposed to in your wallet, desk and the
back of your sock drawer.

Dogs donít let magazine articles guide their lives.

Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger
dinner than a lobster one.

You never have to wait for a dog. Theyíre ready
to go 24 hours a day.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

Dogs donít borrow your shirts.

Dogs never want foot rubs.

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

Dogs find you amusing when youíre drunk.

Dogs canít talk.

Dogs arenít catty.

Dogs seldom outlive you.




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