Some of the changes and symptoms women encounter as they approach menopause can be difficult to withstand, and it’s not unusual to wonder if you’ll ever feel “normal” again. Not only are you dealing with physical symptoms of menopause, such as hot flashes, night sweats, irregular periods and weight gain, but there are many emotional changes that take place as a result of declining hormone levels.
You may experience moodiness, depression or feelings of sadness and hopelessness. If this is the case, there’s a strong likelihood that your mate is feeling somewhat confused by your behavior and may be left wondering if you still love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him.
If your husband or partner is anything like mine, it’s not likely that he’ll research information that’s available to him in order to figure out what’s happening within your body and how it may be affecting your emotions. If men don’t have the answers, how will they respond to the “foreign” you?
Unfortunately, men respond to women’s hormonal balances using many different approaches that aren’t always the most effective. Some men simply ignore the problem and hope it will go away, while others may be overbearing and treat their partner as if she’s emotionally fragile and incapable of dealing with life.
The relationship problems couples face during midlife, in most cases, really is usually a lack of communication due to the misunderstanding that results from hormonal imbalances and behavior changes in women approaching menopause.
If you find that you’re facing some challenges in your relationship due to hormone fluctuations, and you don’t honestly see your mate taking the time or initiative to figure out what may be happening, it may be a good idea to tape the following messages to your refrigerator, mirror, tool box or other area where he’s sure to take notice.
1.If your wife or partner is feeling undesirable (and there’s a good chance that this may occur often during this transition), it may be automatic for you to express how beautiful she is. Unfortunately, she is not likely to believe you. Don’t let this become a slammed door, however; continue to be loving, kind and supportive consistently and eventually she will trust that you really do find her desirable.
2.Since your wife is not feeling sexy as a result of the weight she has likely gained during this period in her life, please don’t let your eyes pop out of your head when a young sexy woman appears on TV or passes by you in a restaurant. And worse yet, avoid the temptation to flirt with younger women. This behavior is insensitive and uncalled for, and only adds to an already strained relationship.
3.When you think your wife is behaving irrationally, remember that she’s not crazy and zip it! That’s right – just keep your thoughts to yourself because oftentimes what men view as irrational, women do not.
4.When your wife has something she’d like to tell you, listen! Don’t dismiss her, even if you’ve heard this same story over and over again. It’s important to your wife to have a partner – one with whom she can communicate. If it’s tempting to interrupt her, take a moment to put yourself in her shoes and decide how you would feel if your every thought or emotion were brushed off as if it meant nothing.
5.There’s a strong possibility that your wife’s sex drive is not what it once was. This is confusing and scary for your wife, and may very well add to her moodiness. As a matter of fact, it’s not unusual for women to find fault with their spouses in order to feel justified in not having the desire to have sex. Openly communicate with your wife about this, and make an effort to work together to remedy this problem so that your sex life can become rejuvenated. A healthy sex life contributes to your overall physical health, as well as the health of your relationship.
6.Let your wife know she can count on you. Perhaps she’s feeling overwhelmed with a busy schedule and a tired body. Put down the newspaper or the remote control and pick up a broom. You’ll be amazed by her positive reaction and what results to which your desire to help may lead.
7.Stop at the store on your way home from work and pick up a romantic card or a bouquet of flowers. Don’t wait for your wife to suggest going out to dinner; go ahead and be assertive and simply tell her the two of you are going out on a nice little date.
8.Your wife may be doing a lot of complaining lately; you can encourage her to stop complaining by giving her reasons to know she’s lucky to have you in her life.
9.Make your wife laugh – even if you need to be the butt of your own jokes (better you than her).
10.Finally, express your love for your wife and let her know that you understand this may be a rough ride for her and you want to do whatever you can to pave the road for a smooth transition into menopause.
While it’s important for your spouse to be understanding and sympathetic to your needs during this transitional period, it’s also important that you do all you can to take care of yourself – both physically and emotionally. Be sure to eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, get plenty of rest and take time for yourself.
If you’re sure to do all you can to remain healthy, there’s no doubt that you will feel beautiful, youthful and full of energy – your absolute best – as you approach menopause.
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