A Glaswegian walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to the
counter and says, "Awwriiiight big man... you know, I just dinna like being
on benefit, I'd really rather huv a joab."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive
around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to
escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her
sexual urges.
You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is
£200,000 a year".
The Weegie says, "You're bullshittin' me!"
Social worker says, "Aye well, you started it."
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