Ians Editorial

Well here we are, Back again with another Issue of the Magazine. You know it's hard to believe that we have only been working on the Re-Issue of the CRYPT for 12 months. So much work has gone into the Re-Introduction of the Magazine, That Time seems to have Flown past.

Our Website has, Of course Not been Running that long, However to date we can boast, Well in excess of 5,000 Visitors :) ...Our Mailing list, While still at a Modest 20+ generates around 400 mails per Month.

All in All ...We are very happy with the Progress of The Publication, And we are now spread far and wide, Becoming a World Wide Publication, Even read by the PC User.

OK! Enough about RIYAN Pro and the CRYPT, Breaking with Tradition, I decided to veer off topic with this Editorial and talk about something completely Different.

SPORT

Mm! Might seem a strange Subject, Considering that I'm as Energetic as a Geriatric Slug. However This topic is due because of an Article i read in a National Newspaper, Regarding the Government, Deciding to Spend lots of OUR (The Tax Payers) Money on a Survey to find out why we (In Britain) are not so good at Sports (Certainly on the World Stage) and in particular Athletics.

Now! Mr Blair .....Can I call you Tony? ..... Suit yourself then. Right Mr Blair and your wonderful Cabinet, The Ferret is just the Person to explain why people in the Country, are failing at world Sports, And the People to blame are Yourselves (The Bloody Government).

Yep! You are the People that has passed Laws and Changed our way of life, You are the People to blame because we are not as Good as other Countries. You don't believe me ...Do you. Huh! But I can prove it ...Just Read on.

POLE VAULTING

Are we any good at it? ...No ...Why ...Simple because the only people you see walking about carrying 15 foot poles would be a Scaffolder. People who used to be interested in Clearing High Wall etc.. Were Our Prisoners, However since you turned the Prisons over to Private enterprise, They just walk out now-a-days No need to become skilled in the Art of Pole Jumping.

SPRINTING

Britain had world class sprinters up until around 10 years ago, Why not Now? Could it have anything to do with the Fact that the Government changed the Laws, and allowed Pubs to stay open later, People don't have to Sprint out at 9.30 to get a few in before 10p.m. closing anymore, Just take a slow wander down to the Pub, Plenty time Now.

THE DISCUS

Ah! The fine art of Throwing a Plate shaped object as far as Possible, Great when we all stayed in Massive Houses, The Wives could Throw Plates for Miles, Certainly when the Man had just returned Legless from the Local. Now our houses are so small that again we have lost the art of distance, Depending now upon Accuracy.

SHOT PUTTING

Invented as a Sport when the British Navy ran out of Gunpowder for the Cannons, We just threw the Balls at the Opposing Fleet. Now you tell our Seamen that you can't afford the shells during Exercises, And instruct them to Pull the Trigger and Shout BANG.

However all this isn't just Athletics, Other Sports suffer at your hands as well. Lets look at Formula 1 Motor racing. We have an excellent Driver in David Coultard, He has a Quick Car ( British made ) Is he a World beater ..NO ..Why because that wee German fella beats him all the Time. Now its not Coultards fault, It you the Governments fault. Anyone driving at highspeed in the Streets of Britain, and they suddenly see a series of white markings on the Road "CHRIST SPEED CAMERAS" and they Slam on the Brakes.

What do you see at the Start finish line on an F1 Circuit .....White lines. Yup David Slams on the Anchors every time he sees them for fear of getting a speeding ticket.

NOW! To be fair here ...If my Theory is to hold any water, Then we should be good at certain sports, The ones we practice in everyday life.

With the highest (person per Person) Murder rate in Europe, Then is it surprising that we have champions in Clay Pigeon Shooting?

We win a bucketfull of Medals in the Rowing events ... Not surprised ..We have the Highest Fuel Tax in Europe, Rowing is a dammed sight cheaper.

Then there is the Hop, Skip & Jump ...A World Record ...Huh! Anyone who walks our City Streets at 7 in the Morning becomes a world Beater.

HOP ...Over the half eaten Pizza's

Skip ..Over the pile of Vomit

Jump...Over the Dog Shit

And all because You cut Council Spending.

So you see Mr Blair ...You didn't need to spend all the money to find out what's going wrong, All you had to do was Read the CRYPT

:)

Catch Ya all in the Next Issue

Ian (The Ferret) Fyvie Dual Editor


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