TALES FROM A BREAKDOWN RECOVERY MAN
by Baz Cann
Doesn't it make you want to :-
Within all realms of occupation,
there are always situations of
hilarity, usually brought about by
fellow employees, or even customers.
I hope to "blow the lid" on a few of
these for you here.
Burning Ambition
During the course of a recovery
after an accident, the recovery driver
was rapidly made aware that the
vehicle being recovered was on fire.
Until he'd been flashed and flagged
down, he'd been unaware of the havoc
created behind him. Prompt action
with a fire-extinguisher saved the car
from further damage. Needless to say,
there was a lot of rib-pulling later.
Later, it was discovered that the fire
was caused by engine oil from the
damaged engine falling onto a very hot
exhaust pipe. I suppose these cars
are still dangerous even when
incapacitated!!!
In A Ditch
The most hated situation in the
recovery business. In this situation,
the customer rarely bothers to mention
that the "ditch" is more akin to a
castle moat, and their pride and joy
isn't even visible from the road.
This helps even less when they are
miles away from the scene. The normal
scenario is such that the vehicle is
either un-marked, or nearly a total
write-off. However, specialist
lifting tackle has to be employed, and
no-one is exempt from the winching
charges. Even when no evident damage
can be seen, you won't be allowed to
drive your car away. I've had someone
try that one on me!
The 4 x 4 x 4 x ......
Sometimes, the recovery itself is
quite simple, but for the antics of
others. The scene here is a stately
home holding a classic luxury car
rally, after about a week of endless
rain. One of the exhibits had failed,
requiring assistance to "proceed",
which I was duly sent to. The drive
being built for carriages etc. wasn't
particularly wide, neccessitating my
reversing up to the stricken car to
load. During the course of events, a
gentleman with Range-Rover and trailer
with exhibit on board decided he
couldn't wait for three minutes, and
drove an arc across the grass. Major
mistake! The nicely mowed lawns
proved to be anything but firm, people
rushing to help push him, getting
plastered with mud, watching as car,
trailer & all sunk further. Then
someone had a bright idea - tow him
out! A 4 x 4 found itself on the end
of a line of like vehicles, added to
until success was obtained. Shame
about the grass!!!
Rat Or Two E
An RAC patrolman investigating a
Ford Escort that wouldn't start, had
the surprise of his life when he
opened the bonnet and a large rat made
it's bid for freedom! The car-crazy
rodent had chewed it's way through
numerous electrical circuits and an
assortment of other fittings!
Take Good Care Of My Baby
From time to time, we all come
across the slightly eccentric. The
worst cases treat their cars like a
member of the family. Such was the
case with a small hatchback that had
caught fire and burnt so fiercely that
nothing remained. Even the hand-brake
had melted, leaving a half-melted mass
where a car should have been. The
words of the owner had me staring in
total incredulity, as she said, "Do
please be careful with him, he's been
so good to me!" Damn, this job is hard
enough, without having to resist even
smiling at that. The only place that
vehicle was going was the crusher!!
Roderick And The Body-Shop
Another instance is the young lady
at a local body-shop (car accident
centre), whose vehicle had met with an
unfortunate occurrence. Whilst she
was waiting for a loan vehicle,
technicians inspecting her vehicle
were requested, "Do please take good
care of Roderick, won't you". Their
faces were a picture; even more so
when she asked me "How do I get the
seat to move back?" when installed in
the loan car; I promptly begging her
pardon and having to adjust the seat
with my arm between her legs!!!! I
just couldn't resist a jape about
"taking care" before leaving!
What Do You Suggest?
While loading a member's car at the
local motorway services, my attention
was drawn to a Vauxhall Astra making
very heavy weather about even thinking
of moving. Mechanically challenged is
the term I'd use here! A cacophony of
"Death - Rattles" emanating from under
the bonnet, accompanied by clouds of
steam, and, most worrying, a strong
smell of unburnt petrol. If that
isn't dead, tell me what is ! Amidst
the clatter, the Astra was parked
within fifteen feet of the truck, and
the gent driving jumped out, stating "
I think there's something wrong with
my car - could you have a look?
Now either I'm psychic, or this car
had well and truly had it. It hadn't
even occurred to him that his engine
shouldn't sound like every bolt was
missing, never mind petrol fumes and
an over-heated engine can spell
disaster. After being coaxed away
from a time-bomb, I'd enquired where
he was bound. A hundred mile journey
that vehicle couldn't make without
assistance - no membership of any
organisation - no funds ! Any chance
of a quick repair had gone - how he
ever got home is beyond me!
