The Cannibals
Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says to them, "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees." The cannibals promised they would not trouble anyone.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says, "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our cleaners has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals claimed that they had no knowledge at all, of the missing cleaner. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals demands, "Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"
A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals snaps, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project Managers so no-one would notice anything, but you had to go and eat the cleaner!"
The Truth about Reindeers
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen- had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat-arse man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost .
Maxine and Samantha
Maxine and Samantha had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally, Maxine invited Samantha to visit her in her new apartment.
"Come meet my husband and my three kids," she said.
"Great. Where do you live?"
"Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter. When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in."
"Okay, But why all this business of kicking the front door open and pressing elevator buttons with my elbows?"
"Surely you're not coming empty-handed!"
Viagra
A man fell asleep on the beach under the noonday sun and suffered a severe sunburn and heatstroke. He was taken to the hospital where his skin was a bright red, painful and started to blister. Anything that touched him caused agony.
The attending Doctor prescribed continued intravenous feeding of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative and Viagra.
"What good will Viagra do him in that condition" the nurse inquired.
"It will keep the sheet off of him."
