ADULT ONE LINERS

by Bruce Steers

Q: What did the nymphomaniac say after having sex ?

A: So what football team do you all play for ?


Q: How can you tell a man is old in the dark ?

A: It isn't hard.


Did you hear about the dwarf that was banned from the nudist colony ?

He kept poking his nose into other peoples business.


The porter asks the man... "Can I carry your bag sir ?"

"That's OK ... she'll walk"


Two men were sitting on a park bench watching a dog licking away at it's personals.

One man says .. "I wish I could do that"

The other man replies.. "Well you'd better be careful it doesn't bite you"


Two birds were sitting on a perch .. one says "Can you smell fish ?"


Q: What do you call a flock of sheep tied to a lamp-post ?

A: A Welsh leisure centre


Q: What can a cow do that a woman cannot ?

A: Get up to her tits in water and keep her fanny dry.


A man goes into a vets.
The vet says .. "Say aaaahhh"
The man asks why ?
The vet says cause your dog just died.


Woman: "Will you love me always ?"

Man: "Of course .. Which way do you want to try first ?"


The local sex shop has started selling strobe lights as a sexual aid.

They make the woman look like she's actually moving.


What's a real mans idea of foreplay ?

"Are you awake ?"


Previous