SO YOU WANT TO TAKE UP CARAVANNING

by Chris Skelhorn

Caravanning, depending on your viewpoint, is something you either love or hate. There appears to be no middle ground.

There may have been times when, whilst travelling, and you may or may not have been in a hurry, that there's been one of these overloaded, bucking, swaying, menace-to-society, monstrosities precariously balanced on the back of an elderly, gutless old rust-bucket, piloted by an obviously insane, woolly-headed moron.......

Or is it that you can't see that the caravan is one of those state-of-the -art supervans towed by a chariot more than adequate for the job? And he's just being held up by one of those morons that hate caravans, purely because they were once held up by one for almost 12 seconds, 30 years ago!

I must point out that I'm no expert. Yes, I've been caravanning for years and yes, I once towed a Transit on a trailer 70-odd miles with a 2- litre Espace (probably a foolhardy move!) but there have been many, many people that have done more miles than me!

I don't class caravanners (or motorhomers, or trailer-tenters) as any different to any other motorist. With the possible exception of the occasional lamer with a box trailer, that will not propel his aged Marina (the car, not the wife) beyond a stiff walking pace!

I have been dragging my tin-tent around the country for nigh on 20 years now, and without fail, I have found at least one person on each journey that speeds up when I try to overtake, or pulls out in front of me, or.....

Mind you, for each of those I have found countless peeps that move over to give me a little extra room, flash their lights to tell me it's safe to move in or out, or give way when they have the right-of-way.....

But the actual dragging of such an outfit around is a daunting task, isn't it?

No!! Caravans are designed to be easy to move, whether on site, on your car, or in storage. Just be aware of the dimensions of the thing and you'll be OK. Every time I hitch up, I spend the first 5 miles or so, studying the trailer as much as I study the road. After the first 50 miles, you can easily forget the thing is there, but it could be dangerous if you do!

A caravan width is limited by law so that cars (and small commercials) can use short extension mirrors to see along the sides. Most caravans are about 6"4' to 6"8' wide, but there have been a few made that are narrower.

The length is usually governed by the weight, but there is no formulae that dictates x (length) = y (weight).

The AL-KO chassis that 99% of caravan manufacturers use is available in 4 lengths, and just bolted together differently. The axle and suspension is basically one unit, with 2 or 3 different weight limits. The axle tube also acts as a cross brace for the chassis.

Altogether, the weight limitations can be very similar, although the amount of bodywork can vary. Thus sometimes you can take more stuff with you although you have a smaller 'van!

If you look at caravan weights, you'll see that Carlights are quite heavy, substantial 'vans, and for a similar weight, a Sterling could be 3 feet longer, and have 2 more berths!

This is partly due to the construction of the vehicle. Carlights are made in the 'traditional' way; a wooden skeleton has aluminium panelling attached to the outside, glass-fibre matting is then pushed into the gaps, and finally, 'faced' hardboard panels are bonded into place. These panels are screwed to the floor, which in turn is attached to the chassis. The furniture is then fitted. The drawer fronts, cupboard doors, and wardrobe are typically solid wood.

With the 'modern' sandwich method, the aluminium panel is laid out, wooden reinforcements are bonded to the sheet, then the insulation is bonded to the sheet, and finally the decorative interior panel is bonded to that. Then the whole thing is cut to shape, and holes for the windows, vents, and door are cut out. All the panels (1 front, 2 sides, back and roof) are bonded together, and the whole is then bonded to the floor. The floor is a bonded sandwich of ply and insulation foam. And then the furniture is fitted. The doors in this case are more usually hollow with a veneer facing, or sometimes 'blown' plastic.

The bonded construction is much lighter than the traditional method and can sometimes make a difference of 20% in a complete caravan.

Not only that, but an acrylic window is much lighter than the equivalent area of wall.

WEIGHT FOR IT!

When you're towing, you have to be aware that your car is now 2 and a half times longer! It's also 2 and a half times slower and takes 2 and a half times longer to stop!

Actually, no car and trailer should be 2 and a half times heavier, as it's not legal to tow anything that is heavier than the unladen weight of the tug. It's also better to keep to the 85% rule, i.e. if your car's unladen weight is exactly 1000Kg, make sure that the trailer's maximum weight is no more than 850Kg.

That doesn't mean that you can load your trailer to 85% of the kerb weight of your car! If your car can tow 1100Kg, but your trailer's max is 900Kg, common sense dictates that you stop loading before you get to it!

You'll also find that there is this little thing called nose-weight. This is designed to keep the front end of the caravan slightly heavier than the back, otherwise you'll get this horrible 'pitching' which will lift the back of the car, rather like a see-saw. Not only will all your passengers give forth with their last meal, very quickly, but as the back of the car is pushed down by the trailer, the front will lift, with the resultant loss of steering. Have I just frightened you? Good!

Nose-weight is dependent on the towcar, but usually ranges between 50 and 160 pounds, and is not to be exceeded! The easiest way to weigh this is to cut a length of broom handle, stick the bathroom scales under the coupling, and prop the broom handle between the two. Quite how you explain greasy bathroom scales and a vandalised broom to your other 'arf has never been revealed to me!

Now, as a caravan is approximately the same shape as a garden shed (with similar aerodynamics!) it is also susceptible to wind resistance, which can come from the front AND the sides.

So, to load a 'van properly, you MUST put all the heavy goods (awning, TV, water container, boxes of tinned foods, etc.) directly over the axle. The medium weight stuff (e.g. awning poles, Porta-Potti) can go on the floor towards the front and rear, and the light stuff (bedding) can be stowed wherever, keeping the 'van balanced.

With adequate and sensible loading, a caravan that has been loaded to capacity, will handle no differently to an empty one.

The bow-wave of a fast artic that can take a scarecrows hat off at three fields will not make a properly loaded trailer move more than a foot out of line. And then it'll be out, in, and corrected.

Ignore sensible loading advice, and the first time out, the tail will wag the dog, and Bryant and May will help you clear up the mess!

OK so what can a car tow? All cars registered since the 1st of August 2000 have to have type-approved towbars. This is to prevent people doing stupid things, like overloading them.

Some small cars can tow caravans, and some can't.

By small cars, I mean Renault Clio's, Vauxhall Corsa's, and Nissan Micra's. Some small cars have not been type-approved, such as the Ford Ka, Vauxhall Tigra, and Daewoo Matiz.

There are many others that have been treated in this way, for reasons other than that of pulling power. If you've designed a sports coupe that has the power, agility, and stance of a cheetah, would you want some plonker hanging a greenhouse on it? Probably not, so you don't type-approve it!

Which is why you won't see the likes of TVR, Ferrari, and Porkers pulling Searchers about.

There are a number of caravans that are designed specifically for the smaller cars named above, like Eriba's, and the Freedom range.

So even with a little car, you can toddle along to your friendly dealer, and he will take a wodge of your wonga, and attach a suitable towing apparatus to the blunt end of your transport.

He should also make sure that there are either one or two electrical sockets flanking such bracketry. These are needed because you are legally required to have certain lamps on any trailer. These include stop, tail, turn, and rear fog lights. You may have reversing lamps too, the law simply states that IF reversing lamps are fitted, there must be no more than two, they must be white, and they must only be used whilst going backwards.

The first electrical connection (denoted 12N) has either 7 or 8 separate connections in it, one each for left indicator, right indicator, brake lights, left parking lights, right parking lights, and an earth. The more perceptive reader may notice that only 6 cables have been used. The last one (or two in an 8-way) is for the rear fog light. The 7-way simply switches the rear lamp on, but the 8-way cuts out the towcar's rear foglight, thus stopping the reflection off the front of the trailer!

The second socket (the 12S) contains the power for reversing lights, interior light, battery-charging and the fridge.

DIY?

The better brackets are from well-established names like Witter, Dixon-Bate and Brink. Towsure are adequate, but some can be real swines to fit!

Also, if your intended tug has a rear light monitor, injudicious wiring can cause it to throw a wobbly.

Most 'bars can be fitted in less than a day by a reasonably competent DIYer, but some cars need to have a section cut out of the rear bumper.

Pricing? Well, a 'bar fitted to a Xantia Estate, with twin electrics will set you back around Ł200. Buying all the bits tops around Ł130, so fitting comes to Ł70. Now consider the fact you may have to cut your rear bumper. Get it wrong, and a replacement would be the thick end of 300 sovs. All of a sudden, Ł70 is peanuts, innit?

OUT IN THE COLD.

Many caravanners have 'progressed' from tents, or trailer tents. I have no problem with that, but I have tried tenting, and didn't like it too much!

The first thing that put me off was not being able to stand up to get dressed! The second was after the first night of rain! At least you can have a heater in a caravan, and a wash or shower, without braving the elements. True, it's possible to buy some huge tents, some of which can sleep 8 peeps in four separated 'rooms', but you have to have either a large car to stick everything away into, or bung it all in a trailer......

Motorhomers, by the nature of the beast, have to pack everything up to travel anywhere, whilst all other campers can leave their kit behind. They also have to be aware of the size of their machines, as many car parks have height or width restrictions. Some MH'ers have taken to towing a small car behind their vehicles. It seems odd to pull a car with a caravan! It's not a bad idea, though, but road tax is effectively doubled.

Motorhomes can vary wildly in size. There are some that are based on Citroen Visa vans, and I recently saw a converted Daihatsu Hi-Jet (Bedford Rascal). I don't know how many berths it had, it may just have been one, or it may have had bunks! On the other hand, a friend borrowed a Winnebago a few years ago. This had two king size double beds, air-conditioning, central heating, triple glazing, satellite navigation, a fully fitted kitchen, (with microwave oven, dish-washer, washing machine and a tumble dryer!) shower... it was better equipped than many houses!

People ask why I like 'vanning. I don't know. Why do people like paintings, or gardening, or photography? Or anything else, come to that.

When I was young, and went caravanning with my parents, I used to love the hiss of the gas lights. We used to take a radio as there weren't many 12-volt TV's in the sixties! Sadly, nowadays, many 'vans don't have gas lights. And we can't be bothered to take the telly.... Mind you, with a mains hook-up, I can take the computer!

My parents never used an awning. When I bought my first caravan, a 10-foot Sprite 400, it was supplied with one. No instructions, but I had a notion how it worked! An awning can effectively double the size of any 'van, and it can be used for storage, sleeping, cooking or as a porch to dump muddy wellies in.

OK, so you've decided to take the plunge and got the bug, what do you need?

First, is your car suitable? Only you can answer that. If there's just you and the other 'arf and you have an Escort/Astra/Focus/Megane sized car, not much of a problem. Any mainstream 14 footer will suffice.

But if there's 5 of you, and you only have a Clio or Metro, your choices are limited. New, a Freedom to suit you will set you back Ł4,000 or so, and if you choose the better model with more bells and whistles, you can say goodbye to around Ł5k. If that is beyond your means, then a second-hand Eriba Puck in good condition will command from Ł2500 and up, or you could aim for a Sprite Cadet. Check the weight of your car and don't go over 85% for the 'van!

You will need to make a list of personal items to take with you, clothes, toiletries, footwear, etc. Then make another list of general stuff like towels etc.

For the caravan itself, you'll have to either raid the kitchen of two or three saucepans, kettle (with lead!) tin opener, kitchen knives, etc. Individual cutlery, and crockery, is probably best obtained from a camping store. Melamine plates weigh about a third of ceramics, and you'll need a dinner plate, side plate, cup or mug, and a soup/cereal bowl each. May be a good idea to grab a 'plastic' glass each, too!

You'll need a pack each of kitchen and toilet rolls before you set out, as well as a mains hook-up lead (about Ł25 for a 25 Metre lead) tea-towels, washing-up liquid, dish-cloth, first-kid kit.

Don't forget matches or tapers (gas can be tricky!) and an ashtray even if you don't smoke, 'coz you have to drop the 'dead' matches somewhere.

Ah yes, check the gas bottles. Not so much that they're still there, but if they're empty, they're about as much good as a chocolate fireguard.

You'll need pillows and such. I still prefer to have a single sheet and blanket over me, as duvets and sleeping bags are too hot. But remember to take a couple more blankets than you need! Most partners don't appreciate frozen tootsies in the middle of their back at 4 am!

You must also appreciate that caravan beds are also supposed to double up as seats, and so are not going to be as comfortable as your own bed. It may be necessary to lay some extra padding on the bed.

You need to have a good think about the kit you need, we've always forgotten something when we're away, although most site shops are very helpful in that respect!

We usually take enough food for the first two days, so if we arrive late and wake up late the next day, we won't desperately need to find a food shop.

If you use a supermarket, try and snaffle some of those 'tomato' boxes. They're good for packing tins into, as they don't get too heavy, and they fit through a caravan doorway easily. The lettuce boxes may prove too big. When you've got the boxes in, leave them on the floor directly over the axle for travelling.

Another thing to remember is that when you want to come home, the sawn off broom handle and the bathroom scales are likely to still be in the garage (along with some of the other stuff you forgot!) so loading is going to be slightly more tricky. Not only that, but I'll bet you'll be coming back with more than you went with!

Just remember to keep very heavy items on the floor over the axle.

Later on you can look forward to towing tips, site reports, towcar guides, etc. But in the meantime, happy 'vanning.