I think I'm gonna be sick!

These are in the best possible taste !!!!!!

This woman went through the drive thru of Burger King for lunch a couple of years ago. She ordered a chicken sandwich (the breaded kind...before spicy chicken or grilled chicken became big sellers for BK) and specifically requested NO MAYO because she couldn't stand the stuff. She drove away without confirming that she got what she ordered. As she drove, she began to eat the sandwich and realized that there was mayo on it.

She was none too pleased but was so hungry that she ate it anyway. When she got about halfway through the sandwich, she began to feel very ill.

She stopped eating the sandwich but felt increasingly worse as she continued to drive.

She felt so bad that she drove herself to the hospital emergency room. She took her sandwich with her since she started feeling bad after eating the sandwich.

The hospital performed tests on both her and the sandwich and found out the following...the sandwich actually didn't have any mayo on it.

In reality, the chicken had a tumour on its breast. When the chicken was breaded and fried, the tumour burst inside the breaded chicken breast.

The mayo-like substance was actually puss from the tumour. Kind of makes you want to swear off fast food and mayo, doesn't it!


This girl was really in a hurry one day so she just stopped off at a Taco Bell and got a Chicken soft taco and ate it on the way home. That night she noticed her jaw was kind of tight and swollen. The next day it was a little worse so she went to her doctor. He said she was just having an allergic reaction to something and gave her some cream to rub on her jaw to help.

After a couple of days the swelling had just gotten worse and she could hardly move her jaw. She went back to her doctor to see what was wrong.

Her doctor had no idea so he started to run some tests. They scrubbed out the inside of her mouth to get tissue samples and they also took some saliva samples.

Well, they found out what was wrong. Apparently her chicken soft taco had a pregnant cockroach in the one she ate!!!! The eggs then somehow got into her saliva glands and she was incubating them. They had to remove a couple layers of her inner mouth to get all the eggs out.

If they hadn't figured out what was going on, the eggs would have hatched inside the lining of her mouth!!!!!!!!!!


Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2, 1999:

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.

The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."

The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened. They found not one pound sterling, a diamond or an ounce of gold.

Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING


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