A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech. asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that
is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under
a window, and his is working fine."
Tech. Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard
drive?" Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and
she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"
Overheard in a computer shop: Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please." Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety." Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document
back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to
keep it.
Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"
I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go
something like this: Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"
Some people pay for their on-line services with checks made payable
to "The Internet."
Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?" Tech. Support: "Yeah." Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?" Tech. Support: "Uhhh... uh... uh... yeah."
Tech. Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at
the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech. Support: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "What do you mean?" Tech. Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
Customer: "My computer crashed!" Tech. Support: "It crashed?" Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." Tech. Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot." Customer: "No, it didn't crash.......it crashed." Tech. Support: "Huh?" Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it
doesn't work."
Tech. Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: (pause) "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"