There was a guy who had a girlfriend named Lorraine who was very pretty, and he liked her a lot.
One day he went to work and found that a new girl had started working there. Her name was Claire-Lee and she was absolutely gorgeous.
He became quite besotted with Claire-Lee and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But the guy was a loyal man and wouldn't do anything with Claire-Lee while he was still going out with Lorraine.
He decided that there was nothing left to do but to break up with Lorraine and get it on with Claire-Lee.
He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
Then one day they went for a walk along the riverbank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river.
The current was strong and carried her off and sadly she drowned.
The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing...!

Get ready, this is good.....

........

"I can see Claire-Lee now Lorraine has gone"

Harold Shipman has sold the film rights to his life story... The movie will be called "The old dear hunter"!!

Jesus walks into a hotel and puts three big nails on the counter and asks: 'Can you put me up for the night?'

I've got a dog with no legs, called Cigarette. ... Every night, I take him out for a drag.

A few minutes before the church services started, the town people were sitting in their pews talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one old man calmly sitting in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

"Yep, sure do."

"Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't."

"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?"

" Don't doubt it for a minute."

"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical agony for all eternity??"

"Yep," was the calm reply.

"And you're still not afraid" asked Satan.

"Nope."

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied......, "Been married to your sister for 68 years!"

© RIYAN Productions

www.famousgrouse.com