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The CRYPT Mag

More Blonde Jokes

Source Unknown

Two blonds were driving through the tunnel to Disneyland when they came up to a fork in the road... The fork read "Disney land left <--" so they turned around and went home.

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She was so blonde...

She got stabbed in a shoot-out.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.

She tried to drown a fish.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tripped over a cordless phone.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

At the bottom of the application where it says 'sign here', she put 'Sagittarius.'

If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.

She studied for a blood test... and failed.

She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center. She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

She thought she needed a ticket to get on Soul Train.

She sold the car for gas money.

When she heard that 90 percent of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead

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A brunette is just a blonde that nobody notices

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A blonde, out for a walk, comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river, then down the river, then shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

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This blonde really wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, even louder: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"








There was a slight pause...






The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? Last years hide'n'seek champion.

What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown? Artificial intelligence

3 woman are all pregnent one a brunette, one blonde and one ginger. The ginger one says I'm going to have a boy as I did it in the missionary position, the brunette goes i'm going to have a girl as i was on top. the blonde starts crying and says oh no i'm going to have puppies ---------------------------

2. What did the blonde reply when asked if her indicator is working? Yes it is, no it isnt, yes it is .....

3. How do you know a blonde has been on the computer You see tipex marks on the screen

4. A blonde got a new job, her first task was to get some hot drinks. so she got a big thermos and went in a cafe and asked the person if the thermos is big enough for 6 cups. The person replied “Yes, it is”. She replied "Good; in that case can I have "2 coffees, 2 hot chocolates and 2 decafs please"

5. Why shouldnt Blondes get a break? Because you would need to retrain them after

6. One blonde asks the other one which is further away, a moon or London? The other one replied, London silly, we can see the moon from here

7. What do you call a blonde with half a brain cell? pregnant!

8. How do you make the average IQ of earth go up? Send all blondes to the moon.

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How do you know if a blonde has been on your computer?

The joystick's wet

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How do you know if another blonde has been on your computer?

There's cheese by the mouse.




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